{ Dark skies

At times I reach the point where dark skies hang low above my head, and it seems like they'll never pass, but truth is . . . They always do. Bad times don't last forever, there's always a better tomorrow ;)

{ Just one of those things . . .

I was SO STUPID for falling for you and STUPID enough to think that maybe for one second you cared. My way of getting over this = forgive and forget. "Forgive myself for being stupid and forget you ever existed." I'll be honest you were every thing that I thought I wanted in a man, however your bad qualities greatly out weighed the good and its a shame ... I wanted you to be different from the rest, but you just blended in. Anywho, I'll be lookin out for guys like you in the future! ;D

Of course, you'll think of me when i'm not thinking of you. You'll want to talk to me when I don't want to talk to you and you'll miss me when i'm not missing you, and it's going to BURN ! Believe me, it's your loss not mine. Im sure it'll only be a matter of time til I receive one of those "hey stranger" or "aye wassup" texts. Smhhhh! There's so many men out there .. Do you honestly expect me to mourn over you ??!! In my book you're OFFICIALLY A NOBODY!

I'm sure my soul mates out there somewhere, and it'll only be a matter of time before we meet (or at least I hope so, lol) . . .

P.s i am in NO rush whatsoever !! TRUST !!

{ My "THING" against men.

I'm naturally a VERY sociable person (almost too social, lol) so I tend to meet a lot of people, many of which are men, of course. Men always ask me, "why do you hate men so much", and I don't hate them. just express my frustrations with them often (even though I AM a lowkey feminist lol).

I've met men that suggest a three-some to me and a friend within no time, guys at my job that get my name and search my online databases, men that stalk me in real life, men YEARS older than me that randomly show up at my house YEARS later trying to initiate sex, guys that insist on attempt(ed) touching me inappropriately (although I've never been raped or molested, thank god!), guys that try to take advantage of females when they're drunk, guys that force it all a little too much on all aspects, etc ... I've seen it all, so in general men are kinda creepy to me. Overall it's just HARD for me to be fully comfortable around men.

I'm TOTALLY convinced that these past experiences and  not growing up with a father DEFINITELY contributed to this. I think the absence of a REAL man or a father figure is the root to why I'm not so comfortable around men. I never even knew what a REAL man was like, I just had to find out on my own and I'm still searching lol. My dad wasn't even that great of a person anyways. WHATEVER!

This is just an explanation of why I'm so cautious with men and why I don't get close unless I feel as aware as possible of their intentions. Therefore, my radars always on and my wall is always up. Not to mention, my lack of trust in anyone DEFINITELY plays it's role ...

I was trying to keep this post on a somewhat serious level and it still is ... But I just HAD to post this pic of R Kelly. LMAO! - YOU GET IT ?! :D Buah haaa haaaa! :\

{ Searching for the thrill ...

I feel like there's no fun in my life anymore. It's weird because this is coming from a girl that's CONSTANTLY searching for the thrill and believe me I do a pretty damn good job at finding it, just not recently ...

I don't know what it is. It's not like I ran out of fun things to do, I do fun things all the time. For example, I go skating, bowling, arcades, parks, beaches, cookouts, movies, host movie nights, girls nights, road trips, open mics, cruises, concerts, etc. I mean the WHOLE SHABANG, and I still have fun but it's like somethings missing. It's almost like I'm not completely satisfied, or fulfilled. Like a smiley face without the smile - Just incomplete!

Well I'm pretty determined to get to the bottom of this, so I took time to evaluate myself and I came up with a few assumptions . . .

I figured it's the woes of life and what's really going on in our world that's gotten to me yet again. However, I do a real good job at masking those thoughts but from time to time they tend to surface. I'm a child of love so I figure maybe this feeling is a result of the lack of love ... Maybe ... Although, I never felt fully loved I was still complete and ALWAYS took the necessary procedures to have ultimate fun and enjoy life!

Last but not least .... I figured maybe it's my relationship with GOD. Everyone should have a STRONG relationship with GOD, in these days. After all, they say he should be the answer to all your problems, so perhaps my relationship with GOD isn't close enough. Perhaps I need to relink with him or something. Maybe he's what's missing ... I don't know, I'm clueless.

Imagine that you're hungry, and you eat but after eating ALL that food, you're still hungry and you're never quite full? Well, that what it the feels like ... THIS SUCKS!

I just wanna feel complete again, that is all ...

                                                  Lol, gotta love Spongebob though!

{ The Magic of Laughter

Well some people question why I laugh during "serious" situations, my reasoning : I don't always take life TOO seriously. Laughing tends to mask sadness and madness and brings light to dark situations. When you think about it life is pretty damn depressing. Most people are too wrapped up in their world to take notice of what's actually going on around the world. People are STARVING, HOMELESS, AND being SLAUGHTERED ! There's EARTHQUAKES EVERY WHERE as if recessions not bad enough. So if I get the chance to laugh believe me, I take advantage of it!




"Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional." - Meaning that no one can escape pain, it's something that we all have to experience. However, we have the choice of whether we want to dwell in that pain or not. ;)

I laugh when someone cusses me out at work, I laugh when someone threatens me, I laugh when I somehow end up "stranded" in the hood, I laughed when my mom "accidentally" locked me out (even though I'm pretty sure it was because she was pissed w/my bs), I even laugh when I hear bad news . . . I laugh when I should be crying and I laugh in the WORST situations ! It's almost INEVITABLE!

I MAINLY laugh instead of crying or getting upset because I know that chance are that I'm gonna look back at that moment and laugh about it anyway, so why not save myself the despair and laugh in advance, ya know? That saves me my tears, it keeps my blood pressure down, and it keeps me from unnecessary gloom. After all , pain IS temporary right? :)

This pic is of us at school actin wild in the computer lab. What we call studying ... SIKE! lol

{ Quote by Nina Simone

I'm just a soul whose intentions are good ,

Oh lord don't let me be misunderstood.

{ The BEAUTY OF LOVE

“The greatest treasures are those invisible to the eye but found by the heart.”

{ Quote by Bob Marley

Emancipate yourselves from mental slavery;
None but ourselves can free our minds.
♥

We're all in mental bondage, you just may not notice it ... So liberate yourselves! It starts with the mind first ... Why ? Because the mind is powerful and it shouldn't be wasted, so treasure it!

{ My Greatest Sin.

{ LUST- my GREATEST SIN.